


Encrypted and Uncraka-! Damn

by solarift



Category: Kingsman, Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 10:33:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4301403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarift/pseuds/solarift
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the thirty years Merlin has known Harry Hart he’s never been able to crack the man’s home terminal’s password. Harry wakes up from his coma, Eggsy stares, and for whatever reason Percival shows up. +manips by your author truly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Encrypted and Uncraka-! Damn

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Kingsman and make no money off this piece of fiction.

  


 

Everything had been pure chaos when V-Day was over, and it didn’t help- though they counted their lucky stars; it could have been much worse- when the better part of the Western hemisphere’s secret intelligence agencies showed up in London unannounced, demanding an audience with MI6. Shortly after all the meetings began, the CIA stopped by Kingsman briefly, carting something around on a gurney that looked an awful lot like Harry Hart-shaped body.

 

Harry was alive.

 

The short story the medical team gave them was that the bullet had grazed Harry’s skull but didn’t penetrate beyond that thanks to not only Harry’s quick thinking but also was due to Valentine’s squeamishness around blood. Thanks to those things the bullet’s trajectory could have had a much more lethal outcome.

 

And since it took longer than the CIA expected to pick Harry up from the church they’d had to make the split second decision when they arrived; they had to induce a coma. They weren’t sure if the impact of the bullet, however slight it had been since it’d only grazed his skull, had rattled things around and caused his brain to swell or weather Harry would survive naturally, so it was the safer option until they got him back to medical to be properly evaluated.

 

It’d been a week ago that the CIA had returned Harry and told them that the man would be taken out of his coma in a few days’ time. And then Harry had woken up.

 

Of course the first thing Harry was concerned about was getting out of the hospital, not that he’d been shot in the head or anything, never _mind_ the compulsion he’d been put under by Valentine’s machine in Kentucky.

 

“I’d like to get home, there’s something I want to check on my home terminal,” Harry said easily as he tried to get out of bed. The machines attached to him screamed in protest, stopping him from moving much further. Normally he’d have ripped the IVs out but he also had a catheter in as well and no way in hell any sane person would yank that out. Harry coughed. “Ah, Merlin, could you-?”

 

“ _Absolutely not_. I won’t be going anywhere near your genitals, thank you. Besides, you’re staying put; it’s not every day we get someone that rises back to from the dead.”

 

“If you’d please at least pickup my laptop for me then,” Harry said, very nearly rolling his eyes as he sat back down catching his breath.

 

“I’m not leaving this room until Evienne oks it. And since we thought you were dead for a good month you’ll be recouping for at least a few days; it’ll be _weeks_ if you get annoying, so don’t push the subject.”

 

Merlin’s phone rang then and he gave Harry a narrowed look as if to warn him away from even trying to unhook himself from the machines. Harry _did_ roll his eyes this time.

 

“Merlin. Ah, E- Yes. Oh, if you’re doing that, could you pick up Harry’s terminal as well? He’d like to review something on it. Thank you, Bors.”

 

Harry lifted a brow as the man hung up. “I take it a new agent has been added to our branch? _Bors_. We haven’t used that name in over...”

 

“18 years soon enough,” Merlin replied. “It seemed appropriate in any event. When everything went to shit on and after V-Day we were running short on agents so I changed Bors from inactive, hired the person who saved the world and then put them on active duty. We were lucky that we had Lancelot, Percival, Gawain, myself and additionally Bors. The others weren’t seriously injured but the only Kingsman we lost was Arthur. Good riddance, I say.”

 

“What happened to Arthur?” Harry asked warily.

 

Merlin explained Arthur’s betrayal being found out by Eggsy and how Arthur had given the boy a choice to join him in the movement or die like Harry had.

 

“Bloody hell. I wish I could say that I was surprised by Arthur’s actions,” Harry relented.

 

“Indeed. As for the position of Bors: I put in a request to the other European branches and was given permission to fill it; it took about five seconds before Eggsy finally agreed to take the position.”

 

Harry looked at him in wonder. “So Eggsy _is_ a Kingsman now.” Merlin nodded proudly as Harry smiled softly. “I’m glad, but I have to wonder, when everyone believed I was dead why not offer him the Galahad seat? He would have been a fine successor to the name.”

 

“Oh, don’t get me started on that, Harry. That brat refused to take it when it was offered. Something about it not being healthy to live with ghosts and the inability to live up to the name’s predecessor or some such tripe. It was all too touching if you ask me, and you know how I am with all that bollocks.”

 

Harry continued to smile his private smile.

 

“I feel sick just looking at your face right now,” Merlin added testily, rolling his eyes. He wondered what Harry’s face would look like when Eggsy walked in wearing the full Kingsman kit. Now that would be worth all this mushy gushy nonsense.

 

Harry chuckled but quickly sobered up when there was a knock at his door, a clear but muffled voice drifting through. “I’m coming in, I hope everyone’s decent. Don’t need ta see Merlin’s arse again, got enough’o that last week!”

 

Harry shot a look at his friend.

 

“ _I won’t kill him, I won’t kill him, I_ won’t _do it_ ,” Merlin chanted beneath his breath.

 

Eggsy walked in and what a sight that was. Even Merlin could appreciate the fact that the little bugger cleaned up well. And with a quick look over to his friend, Harry certainly seemed to agree; he practically had heart eyes. Gross.

 

Harry saw Eggsy and Eggsy saw Harry and that was about when their silent staring started to make things very awkward for anyone who happened to be in the same room (Merlin). Christ. He needed to get out of here before things started getting physical. “Get on with it already! You came here with things for Harry, yes?” the tech snapped.

 

Eggsy turned red before shuffling through his bag and pulling out Harry’s laptop.

 

“Here you go, Harry. I don’t know what you wanted ta look at but I got into the main frame so you don’t ‘ave to wait for it to load,” Eggsy said, positioning the computer in front of his mentor.

 

“You... got into my home terminal by yourself?” Harry asked, a somewhat awestruck look crossing his face.

 

“Yeah, what of it?”

 

Merlin arched a critical eyebrow, adding severely, “But his password-”

 

_No, absolutely not. There was no way this boy who didn’t even play video games could have cracked Harry’s encrypted and uncrackable password when Merlin couldn’t even-_

 

“Yeah, it was such a Harry thing to do, right? Can’t believe your password was set to **manners maketh man**. Kinda lame, guv,” Eggsy laughed easily as he moved to sit in the chair beside Harry’s bed.

 

“I suppose if anything good has come of this then it’s that I’ll have to change my password to something _less lame_ ,” Harry said, a tired smirk on his face as he continued to gaze at the boy proudly.

 

“I’m glad yer alive, Harry,” Eggsy said then, a serious look on his face even though his eyes went soft as he took the other in.

 

“Thank you, darling boy, as am I.”

 

Merlin was oddly quiet the next half hour before whatever he’d been bottling up came out in an explosive, “THAT WAS YOUR PASSWORD! Are you kidding me! I couldn’t get past it and I’ve known you for twenty-five goddamn years! I regret our friendship, everything about it- I-!”

 

Harry smiled fondly. Ah, he’d missed Merlin’s spontaneous tirades.

 

Eggsy just laughed as he watched the two older men bicker back and forth like an old married couple. Harry being so blasé, while Eggsy was used to it, was hilarious to see as Merlin turned fifty different shades of red when he’d get no reaction from the man known as Galahad.

 

Eggsy thought, while right now wasn’t the time, he’d eventually get around to telling Merlin that he’d found out Harry’s password by accident. In his rush to get to the hospital he’d dropped the power cord in Harry’s office and when he’d bent down to get it he’d noticed numerous notes taped to the bottom of Harry’s desk, one of them being what his terminal’s password was.

 

“You are _insufferable_ , Hart. You seem a bit cold, maybe we should put you back into a medically induced coma. Oh, or better yet why don’t I administer blunt force trauma instead. What do you think, Eggsy,” Merlin growled, eyes still trained on Harry’s narrowed ones.

 

He really shouldn’t be playing with fire but... “Well... It’d definitely be cheaper to bludgeon him than get a trained professional in here to administer... whatever it is you need to make him go back into a coma,” Eggsy offered, snickering at Harry’s utterly betrayed look.

 

“ _Excellent_ ,” Merlin’s eyes held an evil glint to them. “Be a good lad then and hand me that bedpan.”

 

“Uhh, Merlin, I weren’t serious-”

 

“Now let’s not be hasty Merlin,” Harry said eyes widening.

 

Merlin froze suddenly then, eyes going wide like he’d been taken by surprise by something. “Oh, _you wanker_ , I hate you,” the wizard finally wheezed out to no one in particular as his eyes slipped shut and his body swayed.

 

“Now, I think that’s a bit harsh-” Harry began again before snapping his mouth shut as Merlin’s body fell forward, dropping onto his bed like he’d been the one bludgeoned. Harry looked up from the Handler’s body and found Percival disposing of a needle in the back of the room. When the devil did he show up?

  
  


“Ah. Well that makes far much more sense now.”

 

Percival remained silent as he removed the medical gloves, threw them in the trash bin and then turned back to face a stunned Eggsy and an exasperated Harry. He went on to answer the question no one asked, “You know how Merlin gets. Getting riled up like this is not good for his blood pressure.”

 

“Where the fuck did you even come from, mate!” Eggsy blurted out, completely scandalized of how the man appeared out of nowhere.

 

“I’d have thought that was obvious, Bors. I’ve been here the whole time,” Percival said, smile razor sharp as he pulled his coat on and headed out of the room. “Now, do try not to get too hot and heavy while Merlin’s in the room. I’d hate to have to come back and take care you two as well.”

 

Harry and Eggsy’s turned red as they refused to look at the other.

 

Damn that Percival! And all because of Harry’s encrypted and uncrackable password!

 

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this came from the scene where Eggsy walks into Harry's hospital room while Merlin and Arthur are in there; he came into the room just as Merlin was telling Arthur to get Harry's password for his home terminal when he woke up (as, I'm assuming, Merlin couldn't). Then, naturally, I figured Merlin's jaw would drop with the simplicity of Harry's password when he found out what it actually was. xD Check out my tumblr (solarrift.tumblr.com)


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